So it is with the changes in life: Has one of them kicked off the first time, or only admitted that this power is rampant, even no stone is left over on the other. What
exemplary planned and well-structured "packing crate" began, which haste is-not-seen in a Maelstrom transformed, not just disappear into the boxes and crates, beds, toilet bags and pots but also people, ideas, plans and intentions and go down to new banks.
What would have thought a few weeks ago that I would live in the middle weeks of a half-life resolution, on the other side of all the aesthetic desires a sweet home? Almost everything that was dear to me once and expensive, is either stored in boxes or new home beaches has found. Although there flowers on my dining combined work shut-clean-table, but half of it is already withered for days, and I do not have the "drive" to throw them away. Where I used to be islands of beauty had created to my sensitive soul life to gain places in the refueling, I think it is today with Tanja Blixen: Why fight with sandbags around the reservoir, if this river lives in Mombasa? Or pronounced differently: one released game force you can put prejudice.
As I discuss elsewhere with my friend Marie-Louise about the "savages" (http://hollesgartenblog.twoday.net/) and am already the middle of it, in the reintroduction process. What I have devoted a whole life for energy for me to embellish things to own, maintain and build! Not that I would like to say now, it was all useless and worthless have been. It is also part of the "earthly lot" that we do not build for eternity, even though we keep trying. But just like a little wind and ash from a volcano enough to have our dreams of limitless mobility in their place, the change from 400 to 8 square meters is enough to show me life really means to stay in motion.
It is the movement did not always perceive directly. The broken arm of a child and an unfinished book, my plans, when and how the optimism that have come-in-motion to pass off as abruptly undermined. Once I was probably still to deal with human and all too official. Or improving ways: to put together. And lo and behold - deep inside I felt suddenly my unholy desire, may it be anything but a theoretical approach as a ghost and so remain as it is. Nix says it's "move". In quiet Kämmerle I cherished unnoticed next to all activities the desire of this pitcher may however, blame the external circumstances, pass before me.
What followed was a time of supposed "On-the-place-kicking and spinning to myself, but what I initially like the orbit of a fickle Tretmühlenfahrt seemed wrong turns out to be as slow as it or not neces-sary Returns . Labyrinthine and spiraling of trial and error, only horizontally motionless, but in reality Ruts in depth and momentum-tailing. Take leave of a very different kind
In the meantime, I've grown older. Around me, people of my generation and in her eyes mirrored my own fear: not only the skin under the eyes gets wrinkles, not only the stomach sag. The soul sometimes seems as worn out from too many, what may be the first into and then transported and again. A clip is a reflection, a quiet panic holding to the apparently been won, a little safe raft in the increasingly fast-flowing river of life. Already we can hear him, the case at the end, his humming noise in the ears and the certainty in motion: Contrary bodies may we are likely not.
Because I come, jump from the lifeboat in the middle of the river and do not even know if I mastered how to swim yet. Yes, back when we were young - at least we believed that we would swim. But how often we are sinking ...
There is always a mountain of evidence on the side of impossibility. My own fears are his food, and my hesitation gives him perseverance. But there are real decisions, and therefore also false? Is not behind each door an experience that will in turn come up with new decisions?
Very well, I'm bound. Even though I like to close the Raft resident. As I said, is there the glimmer of hope that the show may Erfahrng, the raft was the best of all places. For if the life ends even deadly, then it is better to keep still, maybe I shall be overlooked ...
But I swim but it! The flow has been quite long since already. Things are abandoned and with them the support, now I can only drift. Meandering. , Spinning. And always the opposite end.
0 comments:
Post a Comment